evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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