that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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