the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
