and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
