I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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