He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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