Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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