Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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