in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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