I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
