Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
