You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize