just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize