No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
