I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
