So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
