I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
