Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
