Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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