Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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