we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
