Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
