Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
