are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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