So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize