there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
