it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
