hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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