Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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