nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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