On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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