Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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