I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
