Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
