I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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