just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
