im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
