I hate your face
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
