yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
