let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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