If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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