I heard we made out
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
