I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
