I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
