At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
