guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize