Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
