I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize