Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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