Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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