The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
