I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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