At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
