Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
