you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
