Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
