You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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