She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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