Buhtt sex?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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