I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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