I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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