I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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