We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
