So drunk its hurt
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize