It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
