I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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