I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize