Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
