does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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