hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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